joyfulchristian

Well, I've got permission

Today I was driving my 8 year old to the doctor when Rodney Atkins' "Cleaning this gun" came on. If you're not familiar with the song, click on through. I'll wait.

Near the end of the song, this took place.

Her: Daddy,when I turn 15 are you going to buy a gun?

Me: I think I should buy one now.

Her: Mommy has a gun.

Me: No she doesn't.

Her: Yes she does.

Me: No, she borrowed that from Auntie. She gave it back.

Her: Oh. Well, I guess you could just kick him in the nuts.

Yeah, we nearly wrecked. When I told my wife, she lost the ability to breathe. We've also had to have quite a conversation.

Update: I think I'll need some steel toed boots.

What's that smell?

My in-laws are on a cruise ... to Antarctica. (No, I don't know why.) Today my daughter had surgery to have her adnoids removed (she's fine). Often when her grandfather goes on trips where he's out of cell range she'll leave silly messages on his phone. Just before her surgery, she made another call.

"Hi Pop. I just wanted to know why I smell penguin poop? Goodbye, I love you."

Cookie Time!

I usually reserve this category for my own comedian. I can make an exception.

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Our little goalkeeper is coming along

I never knew much about soccer until my daughter Larissa started playing. I'm learning as we go.  She loves playing goalie and she had an awesome game this week.

Their opponents had the best player we've seen so far. (He scored while playing goalie. Just took the ball and zipped down the field.) He was an awesome player and he got a couple by her, but she did an awesome job of stopping his 1 on 1 attempts. He took one shot that caught her square on the eye (she's got a tad of a shiner). That knocked her out for a while, but she came back with a vengeance.

I didn't know she had all that in her. It's nice to be pleasantly surprised.

Goalllllll!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday my daughter Larissa scored her first goal in soccer. It was great: She took the ball, dribbled down field and took an excellent shot.  We were so excited!

She had to call the whole family and kept saying, "That's pretty good for a goalie." (Of course, while she plays a lot of goalie, she wasn't playing there at the time.)

Good advice

This morning as our daughter was letting the dogs in I heard her yell, "Precious! Don't eat the yellow snow!"

I second that motion.

Yay, Rissa!

We just found out that Larissa was named "Exemplary student of the month" for January.  Hooray for my kiddo!

My what?

Last week my wife scheduled her first mammogram for today.  Over the Christmas break we've been explaining to our seven year old (loosely) what was to happen. As we were driving back home from my in-laws yesterday she asked, "Mommy, when does Daddy get his first sir-o-gram?

Last Monday

... I was driving Larissa to school. She seemed kinda down o I asked what was wrong.

"I'm having a grumpy morning."

A few seconds later, "I think what would help is if I could take a day off from school. I don't think I'd be so grumpy then."

Creative try for a seven-year old I thought. Didn't keep her out of school though.

Heard on the way to Target

Shortly after moving my new wife and daughter to Oklahoma we drove to Edmond to visit Target and Sam's Club.  As we were pulling into the Target parking lot this conversation took place:

Larissa: I've never seen a Super Target before.

Me: You have now.

Larissa: *sigh* Now my life is complete!