Given their track records, this might be pretty close to the truth:
(2004-11-17) -- Sears, Roebuck and Co. and Kmart Holding Corp. today announced a merger aimed at setting a new record in the arena of retail bankruptcy filings.
"Rather than just vanish from the American landscape, we want to be remembered by our shareholders for decades," said Kmart CEO Edward Lampert who will head the new Sears Holding Corp. "We're change agents, and this merger is bound to change college and retirement plans for thousands of our shareholders."
Gotta love Scrapple Face.
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